Jesse and Ashley

Perfect Summer Day Greetings, All; 

I haven’t been writing here much because living life in the home takes up every minute, especially when you (gratefully) still have kids in the home, but this is what I hope will be the first of more regular posts. Not because I’m such a hidden gem of a great writer, but because there is much that needs to be said about life, about God and about his word. 

I’ve been contemplating the story that has now died down a bit about the couple that ended the life of their son that was five months in utero because he was diagnosed with Down Syndrome. First, can I say that it’s still strange to me that there is such a thing as an “influencer?” So, for some people, it’s meaningful and important to them that their thoughts and opinions and their purchases and their cleavage have a place on the World Wide Web so that millions of strangers can give them likes or dislikes and make complimentary or mean comments. That’s weird. And the thought process behind wanting to become an influencer is weird. Just wanted to put that out there. (Full disclosure: I say this as a person who recently purchased Nara Smith’s soon to be released cookbook, Homemade. I justify buying this influencer’s book for the simple reason that I love to cook, and she has an eclectic range of recipes that look good to me. But posting informational or fun things for people to see is very different than filming yourself while you’re crying or filming yourself because you’re beautiful and you crave attention.) 

Jesse and Ashley Ridgway are such said influencers and have posted personal and not so personal things on their respective YouTube channels. The big story that made the news is that they filmed themselves joyfully finding out they were pregnant. Then they filmed themselves telling family and friends. Then they filmed the gender reveal episode where they also filmed themselves learning that there might be a problem with their son’s genetic makeup. Next they filmed themselves reading the results of the amniocentesis, which showed a more than 90% chance that their son would be born with Down Syndrome, and kept filming while the mother, Ashley, was sobbing at her husband’s side. A week later Mr. Ridgway posted on X that they had made the difficult decision to abort their son. Warning: You will get drawn in and feel like you’re getting to know this little guy who’s about to be born if you watch all these videos and postings in their order. But of course, their little one doesn’t survive. Not because a child cannot survive Down Syndrome, but because his parents ended his life because they didn’t want a son with a genetic defect. Finally, and most unfortunately, they filmed themselves after the “procedure”. In that recording, Jesse films Ashley sitting up in bed the evening of the abortion as she receives her care package of cookies and stuffies, and a note from her in-laws telling her that “Life is tough, but so are you.” They praised her for her courage. And yet, her little boy is dead. 

When I was forty-one years old I was about 18 weeks along with our second child, a boy. We were at our cabin in Northern Minnesota when I started to know something was wrong. We ended up in the ER that evening and they told me I was losing amniotic fluid due to premature rupture of the membranes. When I asked him, “What should we do?” his first answer was, “Pray.” Then he said we should wait and see what happens, but if I come down with a fever, he said he would have to deliver the baby; explaining that it would be a severe danger to me to continue to carry the baby if I developed an infection. I knew what that meant. Because our son was only 18 months along in his development, he most likely wouldn’t survive if he was delivered early. But he said he would deliver the baby because this doctor knew he had two patients he was treating. Aborting our son was never mentioned or even thought of and I praise the LORD God of heaven for that genuine physician.[1] A short time later (about two weeks on — around the same stage of pregnancy as the Ridgway’s little boy) I delivered our stillborn son, Torger Kjoss, in 2008 with much grief and sadness that still remains. After a year or so, even though I thought I didn’t want any more children, when I was 42, the Lord blessed us with our curly headed second son, Benjamin, and we rejoice daily in our three children – one of whom is with the Lord. 

My point here is that abortion, and by that I mean “the intentional destruction of a human being before they’re born,” is always and everywhere, wrong. At no point during a pregnancy does the father or mother get to “choose” whether that life should continue or not. “Choice” is a lie. The real power of who lives and who dies lies with God and God alone. 

“See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god beside me; I kill and I make alive, I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand.” Deut 32:39

But men and women choose abortion every day. In fact, on the day you read this, at least 3000 abortions will be done; both surgical and medication abortion. Every year in the United States at least 1 million human beings are killed before they’re born. How is it that we — “we” meaning Americans and especially Christian Americans — can live these happy, prosperous lives during our 250th sunshiny summer and think that God doesn’t see? In other words, how long do you think God will allow us to go on killing before we are judged? 

And yet, even though we continue to allow such a brutal and barbaric practice to go on, there is Good News. The good news is that aborting your child for selfish reasons is not an unforgivable sin. If you, Jesse and Ashley Ridgway, repent of the sin of intentionally ending the life of your unborn son, there is forgiveness, life, and hope if you trust in the work of Jesus Christ. Abortion is the exact kind of sin Jesus died for, and this forgiveness and happiness in Christ is available for all who would believe. 

I hope you will share this short essay with anyone you know who is contemplating abortion. They think that they are simply making a choice, and that they’ll be able to just have an abortion and move on with their lives. What they don’t realize is that every time they have an abortion, or every time they perform one, they’re adding an immense, heavy burden on themselves that they won’t be able to get out from under. Sin is a burden and can be felt. It’s like a backpack filled with large, jutting chunks of iron that are slowly crushing you to the ground. 

But faith in Christ is like the feeling of being tossed up into the air as a kid by your dad who does it again and again because he loves the sound of your laugh — it’s freeing and happy and glorious but better, because it’s an eternal freedom and he’s a forever Savior. Trust Him. 

[1] physician = c. 1200, fisicien, fisitien, later, phisicien, "healer, one who practices the art of healing disease and of preserving health, doctor of medicine".